Tales from Oblivion

So...I recently looked at the instruction manual (it was the first time I've done so) for Oblivion. I found a drag command. This means you can move stuff without picking it up and keeping it in your inventory. Several immobile environmental elements are also movable now also. So...the wheels in my head started turning. After I got done admiring the light bulb that came on, I quickly grabbed my axe and introduced it to the town guard. Now...after you commit any kind of felony, the closest guard will run at you like a madman and tell you that you've broken the law. You have three options:

Go to Jail. (Viciousness of the crime is your time)
Resist Arrest. (When you feel the need to tell the guards that they need to be felt more than heard)
Pay Gold. (You pansy, take it like a man)

Looking in my wallet, I noticed that it has just enough in it to clear my assault fines. So, being the reasonable individual that I am, and realizing that my clumsy axe swings must be reprimanded, I quickly responded "Resist Arrest" and didn't miss his head this time. Every citizen in town decided it was in their best interest to stop me...can't disagree with them there. All the guards swarmed like starving wolves to a steak dinner, but I was feelin' lucky. 30 minutes, 15 guards, 10 citizens, and 3 broken weapons later (is it bad that you kill a guard just to get his sword?) the massacre was over. My restoration magics certainly got a workout afterwards. Feeling the need to repair my items, I realized I'd killed the weapons/armor dealer in my fit. Ah well, shouldn't stop what I had planned.

Seeing that I had plenty of materials now, I slowly took a sturdy looking guard and placed him in the middle of town. I followed suit with 3 others until I had a good base. I never had Linkin' Logs as a child...perhaps that's for the best. I proceeded with several layers of of my corpse tower until it was a decent height and then got into position. I decided to make this character very aggressively built, so he has good weapon skills and destruction magics. I selected a wide splash damage fireball and took aim. I tell you, bodies went EVERYWHERE. I can only imagine what was going through the neighbors' minds. Now, there are some pretty good videos on YouTube of other people's similar activities, but it is so much more fun to do it yourself. Anyways, for my entertainment, my bounty was raised to 40,250 moneys. Ouch. You don't wanna know what my infamity was.

Moral of the story: video games aren't killing children's creativity...just giving it a convenient outlet. Now, I've got to get back to gathering money and sneaking around town to pay off my crimes, sigh...